In yet another desperate attempt to be funny by failed late-night hack Stephen Colbert, the soon-to-be-canceled host unleashed a completely fabricated rant against Vice President JD Vance, dubbing him an “insane spoiled baby emperor” over a hoax story about raising river water levels for a family kayak trip.
In case you weren’t already cringing, the “comedian” unleashed his weird rant while wearing a paper mask of the vice president’s face.
“We just found out that JD Vance ordered a river’s water level raised for his family boat trip on his birthday,” Colbert lied to his audience. “This is such an insane, spoiled, baby emperor move, that I have no choice but to break out my new character, Widdle Pwince Vance.”
Colbert put on the mask and busted out a creepy baby voice to say, “Hear ye, hear ye, hear ye. I want my water waised for my birthday.”
“Apparently, JD Vance wanted to go boating for his birthday, so his team requested the Army Corps of Engineers temporarily increase the outflow from a nearby lake to the river in what’s called a special release,” Colbert said.
“Well, of course, on your birthday, who doesn’t want a special release?” Colbert continued. “Officially, this river manipulation was out of the ordinary. Normally, the Army Corps of Engineers only does this when they’re training emergency responders.”
“Also, I don’t like how blue the sky is. Paint it red!” Colbert’s bit continued. “Now give me juice box. Juice box! Not fruit juice! Apple! Kill him! Kill him!”
Colbert took off the mask momentarily and threw in, “Netflix, call me, I’m available in June.”
After putting the mask back on, Colbert said, “There was an emergency. I wanted more wa-wa for my birthday boat. Now there’s another emergency. Hello, police. I’m hungry, get me Papa John’s. He’s closed? Kill him!”
This is pure fake news propaganda, pushed by liberal rags like The Guardian, ignoring that it was Vance’s Secret Service detail, not the VP himself, who requested the adjustment for national security reasons, not some spoiled whim.
Army Corps of Engineers spokesperson Gene Pawlik said in a statement that the Secret Service requested the change to “temporarily increase outflows from Caesar Creek Lake to support safe navigation of U.S. Secret Service personnel.”
“The Secret Service often employs protective measures without the knowledge of the Vice President or his staff, as was the case last weekend,” the spokesperson for Vance told The Independent.
CBS announced in July that The Late Show with Stephen Colbert would conclude its run in May, marking the end of a nearly decade-long tenure for the host. Network executives attributed the decision to financial pressures, including declining advertising revenue and shifting viewer habits in the late-night landscape.
Critics, including Colbert himself, have suggested the move was politically motivated to appease President Trump. He pointed to the timing, which followed Paramount’s $16 million settlement of a lawsuit filed by Trump against CBS News, alleging that misleading edits were made to a 2024 interview with Vice President Kamala Harris during the presidential campaign.
Colbert had decried the settlement as a “big, fat bribe” on his show.
WATCH:
The post YIKES: Colbert Peddles Bogus Smear Against JD Vance While Wearing His Face During Bizarre Bit About River Water Hoax (VIDEO) appeared first on The Gateway Pundit.
